Domestic Violence: A Blow to the American Constitution

It’s been eighteen years since TIME Magazine published these photographs from Living with the Enemy (Aperture 1991).

Back then many believed OJ Simpson was not capable of being a wife beater, let alone a wife killer.

On this happy Independence  Day 2012 I have a few questions to ask.

When will lawmakers and citizens get serious about stopping violence against women and children?

Why doesn’t every state have a mandatory arrest law in place?

Why are battered women’s shelters still saving more men’s lives than women and children?

Your comments are welcome.

The Simpson case awakens America to the epidemic of domestic abuse

The murder of Nicole Simpson turned the national spotlight on domestic violence. The problem has been a persistent one, and enforcing the laws against it will require huge societal changes.


July 5, 2012 6 Comments
  • http://Yourwebsite Yvonne

    In my case the verbal and emotional abuse far exceeded the physical Abuse…spent time in a shelter which felt more dangerous than my home…violence, threats, intimidation among the alleged female victims (more like inmates) was overwhelming, causing many of us to return to what we had prayed to leave behind forever… At least at home we knew what we were getting. Ten years later I completed my divorce and custody. Free? Partially….long journey remains, as the law cannot account for mental cruelty which is not tangible or proven easily and the chdten remain under that control while the courts cannot protect against this verbal and emotional abuse which can kill our and our children’s spirit…..visitation, sharing custody, the control continues with these children, also crazy provisions in the finsl divorce decree…what can we do???????

    • donna ferrato

      To fully understand we need to get the picture loud and clear that it will get inextricably worse each time you leave and go back. That is the #1 lesson to learn on the path to becoming unbeatable. You don’t look back.

      Indeed, unbeatable is everyone.

  • http://Yourwebsite becky Dahlstrom

    I know a lot about domestic violence. Its not a subject I set out to be an “expert”on but it has ended up in my life to be that way. Domestic violence is very complicated. The abusers in my case used the mental tactics of attacking my shaky self-esteem. I played the game too excusing,forgiving and yes allowing the abuse to continue..Why you might ask?? I felt I could fix them that’s one reason another is because this way of life is the only way I knew how to “love”. Its a sick game but I played it until the abuser put his. habd on my daughter and only then did I find the strength to end the avuse forever and work through therapy and groups to understand why I went back again and again and again. The abuse was not my fault but desperately wanting to believe the empty promises was. So I am left with a life of regrets that I stayed too long, forgave too often and am too “afraid “to attempt a healthy relationship with a man because both of my long term relationships were abusive. Abusive

    • http://Yourwebsite becky Dahlstrom

      (Cont) to the point of getting plastic surgery on my face and fearing i was going to die by their hands. Idomestic violence is a very complicated issue dont have all the answers but slowly i am healing and thriving and yes even Surviving. thank you

  • Stephen McArthur

    Thank you for this post.

    Other developments around the country we are seeing — increased dual arrests by police, the lazy way out of figuring out who the dominant aggressor is; increased custody being given to abusive fathers; mothers being blamed by child protection services for not preventing her partner’s violence against her; women being prosecuted for assault when what they did was self- defense; and an increase in batterers filing for protection orders against the women they abuse. Our struggle to end men’s violence
    against women remains monumental. In our small county of Washington in Vermont we receive 400+ hotline calls per month and our shelter is almost always full.

  • julieta schildknecht

    thank you, donna!
    it would be great if you could start traveling around other countries, including brazil, where this problem continues a tabu.
    your admirable work, i am sure, will help bring new hope awakening the inner power a women/human being almost forgets when going through this horror situation.
    yes, unbeatable applyes to any human being.
    congratulations! and please go for it.